Divide by Null - undefined

One may recall a previous post, labeling myself as a gregarious introvert, and this man's experience with paxil was a nice segue for me to further expand.

I am naturally a gregarious introvert; I am shy, but I enjoy interacting with others. At least, I would enjoy it if I wasn't quite so shy. The author of the article, Seth Stevenson, seemed to be similar. He was shy, but always curious for a personality that wasn't.

I came across the article on digg, whereby many users castigated his recklessness of using the medication when it was unnecessary. Nevertheless, I gained much insight from both his story and the responses that accumulated.

It wasn't until high school that I became (at least semi-) comfortable in social situations. Prior to this time, if in a group, I would normally be found listening, watching, thinking. Even as the number of people in the group fell, I would hardly be the one to instigate conversation. I would always reply when spoken to, however. In most cases, I was a bit of a wallflower. Maybe a few self-confidence issues, but nothing I couldn't overcome.

And indeed I have. Perhaps it's just teenage hormones, but my time in high school has completely changed my personality. I'm much more confortable with being in a room with strangers. Sure, that doesn't mean I like being in a room with strangers, but I force myself to cope. I simply need to take the initiative.

Also, the author (and some digg commentors) talked how they had become "social zombies", how they felt no true emotions, but always looked forward to being in a social situation. I will focus on the second part. I am a bit of a "zombie", though likely not in such of an extreme as mentioned. I can fake being happy, but other emotions aren't quite as easy. On the other hand, I can hide most emotions rather well. Maybe it's because I'm not truly experencing those emotions. I know some people of whom one would be easily able to detect their mood. It would take a bit more psychoanalsys to do the same for me.

You know, (being shy,) I really don't like talking about myself, so what am I doing here!? I do guess that this *is* a personal blog, so talking about myself is bound to happen. But in any case...

It is a very interesting read, especially for anyone who has been curious of seeing the world through the eyes of another person. Just watch out for the zaps.

Extroverted Like Me: How a month and a half on Paxil taught me to love being shy.